The Price is Right

So, I have a little game I play at work called Price is Right. Now, I've been playing this game for a while, and I'm pretty good at it, so don't be too hard on yourself the first couple times you give it a shot.

You see, Price is Right is a tactic I like to use to get kids to disclose things they don't really feel comfortable talking about. You simply ask a question, and continue repeating it until you get a numerical answer. It goes a little like this:

"So, how many times have you watched pornography while on home passes?"

"I don't do that stuff. It's perverted."

"Okay. So, maybe four or five times each weekend then?"

"No, not that much! I mean I don't at all, but four or fives, that's a whole bunch."

"Oh, okay. So, what? Like, maybe three times each home pass?"

"No, I mean, I don't look at that stuff. That's nasty."

"Well, I know you probably are expecting that to be the answer I want to hear. I'm more interested in the truth though. Okay? So, we know you've been looking at some stuff that you're not comfortable talking about. Right?"

(Look of defeat, followed by a solemn nod)

"So, you're here, locked up. And when you go home, there's just so much temptation. Right? And you're not real proud of it, but sometimes you look up some stuff that might not be very helpful with your treatment in this program, right?

(Continued look of defeat, followed by another solemn nod)

"Okay. Well, we just need to know, so we can help you. So, how many times? Two or three times each home pass?"

"I looked at, you know, that stuff, and I shouldn't have, but I looked at it all alone with my door closed and it wasn't anything illegal. Promise."

"Okay, well, thanks for being honest. I appreciate it. I'm glad you see you shouldn't have looked at pornography, but let's make sure you're not minimizing. Even if it's nothing illegal, you have some complicated treatment issues, right? So how often? How many times? Five times a weekend?"

"Just once."

"Okay. So just once. Every home pass, right?"

(Awkward pause) "Yeah."

And this is the point they just begin to word vomit about everything. For some reason, pinning some one down enough to commit to a specific number of times they've done, or do something seems to be the key to really get them to open up. Price is Right. I think it's the fact that actually declaring a number is quite a feat of ownership, which eventually makes them feel comfortable taking ownership for other behaviors as well.

This is pretty much the exact conversation I had with a resident today. You see, child protection services took his siblings from his mother's home, and determined life was pretty much completely unsupervised for them. My resident, being the oldest of his siblings, was most likely the best source of info for this family's home life, as he spends almost each weekend home and has, scarily enough, the most advance cognitive functioning of the whole clan .

So we played Price is Right. First about drinking with this mother (each day of each home pass, but only at the rate of one beer at a time. So it's okay?) Then about smoking with his mother (about four or five cigarettes each day of each home pass. I don't smoke, so, is that a lot?) Then about crushing pills and snorting them (about three times in the last four months. Ouch! My nasal compassages hurt!!!) Then how many times he sees step-dad beat mom (at least once each home pass.) And then about the pornography (once per home pass.)

Price is Right. But oh so wrong.

Ugh!

But at least this kid is no longer the walking, talking question mark he has always been, and will be able to get more tailored treatment now. Oddly enough, cracking kids, playing this Price is Right game, it's my favorite part of my job. It always has been, ever since first beginning to work with wayward youth.

Just learning their stories. The stories they've never been able to tell. Afterwards, letting them know I still care even though. And then passing on the info to others who are able help the kids process and make sense of their stories. It's such an adrenaline rush! I am so thankful God had led me where He has. Even though.

Price is Right. But oh so wrong.