Monday, May 31, 2010
Some are great.
And those are the ones we can't afford.
I called and spoke with a complex to price an apartment. They had no availability for what I was looking for, but I decided to go take a look anyway.
But I don't think it was really a decision I made, more so it was God's divine intervention.
You see, just as I entered the leasing office, a young couple was wrapping up the paperwork to upgrade their unit. They had been in theirs for years, loved the place, but felt like a change, so they upgraded, leaving their unit.
I just happened to arrive the very minute, literally, that the kind of place I was looking for (amenities, cost, everything) opened.
The leaser told me that the particular model I leased goes very quickly, and seldom even makes it to advertisement.
Yay! I have a home now!
*Next step: find a job!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
The trip out here was great and I can't wait until I have an internet connection to share the pictures. Its amazing! I think we traveled through nearly every variation of weather and geographic landscape, all within just 4 days!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
But, God is truly good. He saw us through. And this land He has created is a breath-taking reminder of His magnificence.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
We've made it to Colorado, and so far the trip has been great. Although this room we're staying in for the night is less than favorable, all we can really do is laugh and thank God that at least the beds are comfy and the sheets appear to be clean.
The plains of Kansas were beautiful and I look forward to seeing the Rockies tomorrow, then the deserts of Nevada. Hopefully I'll come across free wi-fi soon to post some pics.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
After several days in California, Pink will be flying back to Indiana to his family, and I’ll remain in Escondido to search for a job and an apartment. I’ve been blessed with an opportunity to continue working for CSI Ministries out of the office for a short time, so I’m taking advantage it; searching for a job and home on-site while introducing CSI to new churches and developing promotional media for ministries in Jamaica and Belize.
I am placing my faith in God that He will provide, that His divine timing and masterful plan will be the ultimate determinant throughout this trip and the entire ministry endeavor.
I’m not really sure when I’m coming back from this trip, what it will entail, or what the outcome will be, but I know that God is in control.
With so much left unknown, I’ve spent the past few days making farewells. The experience has been an emotional roller coaster, but one I wouldn’t change. I remain continually amazed by the great people God has placed in my life!
Here are some pics from the last several days. Enjoy!
Friday, May 14, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Years ago, the great Methodist preacher, Charles Allen, was asked by a wealthy Texas oilman who he believed was our greatest President. Dr. Allen said, "That's easy. LBJ." The man's face turned red with anger. He said, "Dr. Allen, how in the world can you say that lying, scheming scoundrel was our greatest President?" He replied, "Well, one day I was standing in the lobby of a hotel and LBJ came through. He shouted to me, 'Dr. Allen, you keeping those Methodists straight?' The reason I feel he was the greatest President is because he is the only one who knew my name." When important people know our name it makes us feel good. But when they call us by name in front of a crowd, we really feel special. Good news. The most important person who ever lived knows your name. His name is Jesus. He knows everything about you and He loves you, anyway. When you get to know him as Savior and Lord, He'll make you feel important and significant - even more than the President calling you by name.
*Borrowed from HERE
I read things like this and catch myself before completing the thought, "How hokey!" Something about these kinds of sentiments, those of the 'feel good' type, just trigger that response in me. But, as I say, I catch myself before completing the thought, because after a moment or two of processing, I'm reminded of my own deep-seeded desperation to . . . well, feel good.
Spiritual warfare has wreaked havoc within me for as long as I can remember, and the enemy only seems to up the ante (which, after a quick Google search, I just learned is a term deriving from old gambling lingo. Who knew!?). I've always struggled to recognize my place in life and to feel as though I do have some significance, but at times, this struggle becomes almost unbearable.
And such a time is now.
Actually, since around October, the battle has been overall intense, with a spike of the above mentioned unbearable here and there.
I am nothing, no one. I am inadequate and insignificant. Unskilled, untalented, un-gifted, unlovable, unusable.
Purposeless. I have no function. I make no contribution.
I am worthless.
These are the thoughts running through my head, and I can't make them stop. In fact, trying to ignore these thoughts has completely exhausted me. I have a hard time even just wanting them to stop right now. It seems easier to just wallow in self-pity and hatred.
And from behind these lenses I'm perceiving the world through, everything is dark. I've somehow lost control of my own focus, because all my eyes will see is what supports these thoughts and feelings of my meaninglessness.
I attempt to rationalize with myself, I try to address my own illogical thinking, but then it becomes unclear what logical really is.
This word resounds within me.
And so, it is clarity that I long for.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.Phillipians 2:1-4
Monday, May 10, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Marcus: Mr. Nathan, staff told me they called you on your cell phone and you told them to put me on assault watch.
Me: Yep. That’s true, Marcus. Can you tell me why I put you on assault watch?
Marcus: Staff said it was because of ‘assault with body fluids’ or something like that. But Mr. Nathan, I didn’t do anything!
Me: Assault with bodily fluids. You’re right, Marcus. That is why. I’m curious about how you’re going to explain to me that you ‘didn’t do anything.’
Marcus: Well, I plugged up the toilet in room 2 and all the kids are saying I made it smell like crap and now it won’t flush. Staff called to borrow a plunger from another cabin, but I got tired of waiting, and everyone just kept making fun of me because I made the room smell like crap.
Me: Okay, then what happened?
Marcus: Well, the trash can in our room was empty so I took out the bag and put my hand in it and used it like a glove to pull out the crap plugging the toilet.
Me: And then? (face straining to not show disgust or twisted humor)
Marcus: I turned the trash bag inside out, so the clean side was out, then I tied the bag up and threw it away.
Me: Marcus, I have incident reports saying you were swinging the bag around at your peers, instigating them. Let me read this to you, “… and then Marcus started flinging crap at me.”
Marcus: That’s not true! He’s lying because he doesn’t like me.
Me: Okay, Marcus. Listen, if you’re saying that your peers and all your staff are misleading me about this, I can place a request to review camera footage, but . . .
Marcus: Okay, Mr. Nathan (big sigh). I didn’t ‘fling crap’ like it says in that dumb, lying report that jerk wrote. I was just swinging the bag around.
Me: A bag of crap?
Marcus: But it was in a bag!
This is just one of those conversations I can't forget. So, what makes me blog about it suddenly, years after having it?
Well, I have to admit, from time to time, I do a bit of ‘crap flinging’ myself. You see, I might disguise it as a conviction to share the truth and to be honest, or as a distaste for an injustice that I feel must be confronted, when in reality I’m just angry or hurt and looking for a reason to fling crap; to get a little dig in and look all the more Christian while doing so.
Sometimes, certain things must be said; some things should be brought to light, but unless I’m doing or saying these things completely from a heart of love, a heart for Christ, then I’m not the person for the job. We can package crap anyway we want to. We can wrap it in paper and put a bow on top, we can fling it around in a garbage bag, or we can dish it out for what it really is, but crap will always be crap.
Lord God, help the mediation of my heart be pleasing to You. Humble me to serve You only, so that it is Your will I seek and not my own. Be my motivation in all I do.