This Is Just a Test . . .

Today's BibleGateway verse was John 6:35, which led me to skim through the whole book, coming across John 1:5-6:

When Jesus looked up and saw a great crowd coming toward him, he said to Philip, "Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?" He asked this only to test him, for he already had in mind what he was going to do.

Now in my random mind, I started to imagine the tornado and weather advisory alarm tests on the television. You know, the ones that say "this is just a test . . . " Unfortunately, its not quite so simple when Jesus tests us. There is no long annoying tone and reassuring voice in the background telling us, "Chill out, dumby! This is just a test!" For me, I imagine the tests are more like creeping doubts and insecurities. For a very long time now, I've had a pretty specific vision of how God has wanted to use me, and I get pretty pumped up about it. But then a doubt or two will creep into my mind, and the next thing I know, I'm wondering if its what He's ever really wanted for me at all. So right now I'm wondering, "Is this just a test?" Are these doubtful thoughts and insecurities just opportunities that God is providing me to proclaim my faith in Him? If so, man! I've been failing that test!