runaway

The sounds are unmistakable. The angst of a mentally-ill teen. Then irritation of a weary childcare worker. Scuffling of clumsy feet on the pavement. I look out the window just in time to see two residents from the neighboring group-home step across the boundary from our campus into the community. "Fuck you, Bob!" they shout at the staff who is trailing behind them. "No! You know what!?" Bob responds, stopping in his tracks and throwing his hands in the air as though defeated, "Fuck you! That's what! Its five minutes 'til my shift is over, and I'm done with your shit for today!" Bob stomps backs to the group-home to clock-out, dragging his feet and looking downward like a child who has been sent to their room.Yes, his response was completely inappropriate, but don't villain-ize him yet; consider first that he has been on quite a bumpy ride for the last eight hours.

I step into action. It's dangerous for these guys to be out in the community; they are a threat to others and themselves. I follow from a distance, as they already have a half-block head start on me before I even hit the door.They look back at me frequently, paranoia and adrenaline obscuring their vision. I attempt to appear aloof, but as they return to looking forward I walk as fast as my flip-flops allow, closing the gap between us. I'm close enough now to hear bits of their chatter; they're toying with the idea of jumping me. I instantly regret not leaving my wallet in the office and forgetting to slip into my sneakers before partaking in this adventure. I assess the risk: one of them is nearly my size, just slightly smaller in build. The other one is huge, maybe 6'3'' or 4'' and quite bulky. But both are lower functioning and clumsy. I determine risk to be moderate. I approach with a confidence that is not mine.

I flash a smile that, ironically, feels more genuine than most how-do-you-do's. "Great day for a walk, huh? You know, that place was making me crazy! Thanks for taking a walk with me! I really needed to get out of there!" They look at each other in confusion, as if I'm speaking to them in an unknown language. "We're not going back!" one finally breaks the silence, "because all we're gonna hear is, 'AWOL! You went AWOL!' and I'm tired of hearing that shit!"

I'm speaking before I know what I'm saying, "Nah. You guys are great! See, you needed to get some space, you started to go AWOL, but decided to take a walk with me instead. Good choice! I'll call your staff right now and let them know so they won't continue thinking you're AWOL, k?" They nod, still somewhat dazed. I dial their group-home's number on my cell, and with the same enthusiasm I shared with them, I relay the same message to their staff.

"Now, lets find a place to chill for a few. Its hot!" I say casually as I pass them by and walk down the sidewalk as though I'd be leading them out for a little stroll the whole time.They're following me. The tension is decreasing, their fists unclench (thank God), and their pace is becoming more recreational. We walk quietly for a few minutes, then rest on a curb under a shade tree. The floodgates open. The teens are spewing their frustrations as I accurately predict them one by one mentally before spoken; I've shared these types of conversations with these guys before and their motivations to runway never change. But I nod encouragingly, acting as though I'm hearing this all for the first time. Soon we're on our feet again. We talk about our favorite animals, what foods we love our mothers to cook for us, and how nice it'll be to drink a big glass of iced water when we get back to campus. In the few scattered moments of silence, I acknowledge the Spirit guiding me, and thank God for His ever-presence. Before we know it, we've traveled the whole block and find ourselves back on campus. Mission: success!

I think of the story of Jonah. Then I'm reminded of the story of Nathan.

So often, I'm that teen under the impression I'm running away, when in reality, I'm taking a stroll in God's presence. He's right there alongside me, watching after my safety and well-being . When I finally turn to Him, He listens to my prayers despite already knowing my every thought and feeling. And ultimately, His objective in me is met when whatever chance occurrences are redeemed to reveal His glory.