Random Ramblings of Weight and Dieting

Tomorrow I am starting a diet, hardcore. I have done this before, and when I worked at a group home I was responsible for planning and making meals for the clients to help them manage their weight. So basically, I have no excuses. I know exactly what to do, I've just chosen not to do it, all while getting fat. Several people have commented on how different I look now compared to pictures taken of me only a couple years ago. It's because of the weight I have gained. My eating habits not only affect my appearance, but reflect where I'm at spiritually. Recently, I have turned to food (really tasty, artery clogging, diabetes-waiting-to-happen food) instead of God throughout stressful times. I use to look forward to getting home after a bad day and just spending time alone with God, listening for Him and sometimes hearing His voice. But lately I've just ran straight for the fridge. This habit also indicates a lack of self-control which can be found in many other areas of my life, such as my thoughts and the words that have been coming out of my mouth, as well as an impulsive nature which I find disgusting. I have even been having health issues which I believe are a direct result of my eating habit. God has a plan for me, and in order for me to fulfill what he wishes of me I need to be healthy physically and spiritually, feel comfortable in my own skin, and glorify Him in ALL I do, which does include my eating habits. I think image has an importance in it too in some instances, depending on God's plan. He is, after all, a very detail oriented god. I think back to the attention I drew when I was at my healthiest and best looking. (Believe it or not, I even had an agent once!) People would stop me everyday because they thought I was some random celebrity. I think now about what I could have done with all that attention, and the strangers I could have witnessed to, "Why, no. I'm not in that band, but let me tell you about Jesus Christ!" Now, even if I lose weight, this may never be the case again, which is fine, but I want God to be the center of my life, not food. I'm rambling on about a lot of things, but it boils down to this: I want to be my very best at everything for God. I want to glorify Him and tell people how great He is. I want to feel my best, so I am prepared to do whatever God wants of me. Somehow I feel like being healthy is a big part of this. I've bought the groceries. I have the recipes. Tomorrow's lunch is already made. I'm ready. I think.