Behind The Edge

A few weeks back, while in New Orleans, God placed a song, called The Edge, in my heart. I had the wonderful opportunity to share this song last weekend as my testimony. It was the most amazing experience of my life, as the Spirit of God was with me. He truly took over my mind and body for a little over four minutes. I can't describe how wonderful it felt to be unified with God in that way. When He left me, not that He ever truly leaves, I thought I would fall down. My knees felt so weak, I was shaking, and later cried such joyful tears. I knew as soon as I arrived in New Orleans that God was going to send me home with a song, so I began searching for what to write. But God had other means of inspiration in mind, something beyond just searching within myself. God wanted me to connect with others. The initial concept of the song, the circle, came from so many discussions. So many points of thinking, "Hey! What a coincidence!" But the truth is, there is no coincidence. God makes us have things in common so it's easier for us to interact and glorify Him together. Donna, with all her wonderful insight, said, on the second day of the trip, "It's all just a circle, like we're all connected." And this was the very first line of the song God gave me. Audra, a couple days later, began to discuss how missionaries "live on the edge for God." I began thinking of how comfortable my life is, and how God wants me to live on the edge for Him. I wasn't sure how He wanted me to do this yet, but I did know He just gave me the second major concept of His song. Later, at one point of the trip, I was helping a poor man find some clothes to wear. I asked him if he needed anything else. Brenda, with her motherly wisdom, looked at me with an expression that only a mother could give, pointed at me and said in a hushed, yet 'this-is-not-an-option' kind of voice, "Pray for him!" And so I did. I laid hands on this man and lifted him up in prayer. God gave me the words. It was easy. So easy I was ashamed. So many people I've seen and thought, "I should pray with them," but never did because I thought it would be difficult. Throughout the whole week, getting to know the local people, getting to know my fellow missionaries, I grew closer to God. Learning to have fun with other people. To relax with them. To love them. To glorify God with them. God used these people; Brent, Donna, Audra, Tom, Todd, Emily, Jeremy, Jeff, Kevin, Ashley, Kristi, Brenda, Jaicee, and Lacey. He used them to bless me. Bless me with knowing them. Bless me with knowing myself. Bless me with knowing Him. Blessing me with a song in my heart that is far more glorifying and holy than anything else I've ever known. And so I've learned what living on the edge for Jesus means to me, in my life. It means stepping out of my comfort zone. Stepping towards others. Reaching out. Connecting. Glorifying. I almost instantly knew that doing this, living on the edge for Jesus, would mean sharing what He has taught me, sharing my testimony. I wasn't sure how exactly that was going to happen. Although God put a song in my heart, He did not put instrumental ability on my list of skills. So, not coincidently, I had to reach out to others for help. I first sought Brent's help, but he was going to be leaving for vacation soon. I was disappointed because sharing this song was going to be difficult at first, and after being in New Orleans with Brent, I felt very close to him and thought that would make this whole thing easier. But that's not living on the edge, is it? So I ended up asking Nate, who I've always thought was very nice but didn't really know personally. Nate was fantastic! So talented and so patient! He literally listened to me sing the song over and over until he had beautiful guitar accompaniment all ready to go!!! And a harmony to sing too! Working with him on this project was such a great experience for me personally, musically, and spiritually. I'm not sure how to repay him for how he has blessed me. So that's the story behind The Edge. It's God. Not me. He has been putting a new song in my heart since yesterday. This has been an awesome way to communicate with my Heavenly Father and His followers, and I'm praying this form of inspiration and dialog between God and myself, continues!