Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Lob BOB: Volume I

There has been enough suffering. The time has come for it to stop. Operation: Lob BOB BOB is a network of organized mobs reeking havoc in the city of La Abdomen. All culprits involved are not yet known, but it has been discovered that the brain and heart of the operation are the criminal organizations Acid Reflux and Coeliac D. Acid Reflux has been sighted in the northeastern quadrant of La Abdomen causing destruction and leaving behind it’s signature graffiti known as ‘ulcers,’ while Coeliac D has run a muck in the southern/central area of the city, causing mayhem. A special force unit called The Meds has been on the case with little to no avail. A secret agent, code named Dietitian, has been contacted and will soon join Operation: Lob BOB. A realist might say BOB can only be somewhat subdued, yet never fully destroyed. I am an optimist. BOB will be lobbed. I will translate in case you're not fluent in Na’Thanish: I am still experiencing a burning and tingling sensation in my right upper abdomen. I have affectionately named this pain Bob. My doctor attributes this to Acid Reflux and ulcers. I’ve been taking meds, which seem to only help a little now. I also feel a tight, twisting pain in my lower abdomen. My doctor thinks that this is caused by Coeliac Disease, which is an unnecessary and frightening way of saying that I’m just allergic to gluten, which can also affect the body’s absorption of nutrients. I also tested positive for mild allergy to lactose. The meds I am taking have no affect on this pain. The only way to manage Coeliac is by diet, which can also alleviate the discomfort of Acid Reflux. So, I’m dreading it, but when I return from Jamaica, I’m going to see a dietitian. Perhaps I'll be losing weight soon!

2 comments:

David said...

Nay! BOB MUST be lobbed.

For all the scary bits of what the future may hold ("diet...aaaggghhhh"), I'm v.glad it's not hampering the creativity Nate and that stumping on the weekend was just short term.

Love the new blue blog too :-)

--V-- said...

Ouch! My tummyish region hurts now. Being allergic to gluten would suck...