Jude My Friend! I Miss You!!! I Don't Know You Yet But I Miss You!!!

"Our faith was not our righteousness. It was our desperate receiving of Christ and all that he is for us."

Boo!

Oh, Isaiah! I miss you so much! You look so cute . . . I mean SPOOKY!
LOL

Still Alive

Yeah . . .

It's been a while.

No internet right now ;o(

But we have a house guest!

It's been great having Jocelyn here!!!

Proud Brother!

Isaiah and his new little brother, Jude.

Today We Painted Paper-Mache Skeleton Masks in the Group-home!

"It may be, in the mercy of God, . . . we can do poorly what we would love to do well." I needed that! Much I'd love to do well for Christ!

Beautiful! Thanks for the Pic from TN Cody!!! I love it!

Day 28: Your Year in Detail

This year God has completely rocked my life! It's a difficult year to explain. There have been so many changes!!!

Some friendships revealed themselves to be conditional, while others proved themselves as love. Both were remarkable to witness.

I left the field of residential care, a career I loved, to cleanse my pallet in 2009. I needed time away from the intensity and spiritual exhaustion of it. I found myself in a position outside the field that ultimately left me feeling disappointed and empty, and I yearned to minister to the brokenhearted again.

In June I packed my bags and drove out to CA with my good friend James, and stayed with his awesome sister Susan and her husband Dan while I looked for work and a home. They were amazing to stay with, and I now love them dearly and count them as family. In July I flew back to IN to grab the rest of my things, along with my lovely wife, and we officially moved to CA.

By August I found myself back in the career field God designed me for, and I began working in a intensive care group home for emotionally disturbed youth ages 11 to 13. Like never before, God is using my to pour out His love and truth, and my heart swells with joy because of it.

We have moved across the country to be a part of the church plant The Branches of Escondido, and God has blessed us tremendously for our obedience. The past several months have been of a lot of spiritual growth.

There is the detailed outline of my year. The detailed explanation of it all would just be too much!

Day 27: This Month in Detail

Well, look one post below and read about my week. Multiply that a few times, and you've got my month ;o)

Nothing in particular stands out.

Roller coaster days at work.
Great days off with my wife.

It's been cool and rainy, which I've loved.

I guess I've been pretty homesick, missing the Autumn leaves and corn.

And the 21st of this month was Kimberly and I's 4yr anniversary!
Oh, and the Canady's had their second baby on the 21st, too!

Yay, October!
It's always been my favorite month!!!

Day 26: Your Week in Detail

My week in detail . . .

Have I ever mentioned on here that my memory for certain things isn't the best? Things like time, for example. Days just run together.

In the past week, I've dealt with huge behavioral issues at work from one of my older kids, who is now no longer in my program as a result. The supervisor involved in the situation hasn't exactly held up her end of the ordeal, and has lied and/or has some weird brain issue and can't remember me telling her in person what kind of stuff was going on that day. So now I'm perceived as an irresponsible newbie that failed to report serious and dangerous behaviors. Which irks me. I love my job. I kinda rock at it. So this type of thing gets under my skin.

Anyway, I've wasted a lot of time this week stressing about this scenario.

Because of it, two kids are not in my program anymore, which has been a blessing to the remaining three who were constantly bullied by them. So work has been different. Smoother in some ways. Crazier in others. Dynamics are definitely different in the house. Last week I got to just relax with two kids on Saturday night because one went on a visit. The two kids and I played video games and watched a movie and made fudge. It was awesome!

My days off, S-M-T, were awesome. Kimmy and I had S-M off together. We did the just church thing (awesome!), did lunch with great peeps, and relaxed. Did some shopping, etc. Monday was another chill day. We went to buy pumpkins and had a blast! Thats another post all to itself though!!! Then I did the men's bible study and spent the rest of the evening with Kimberly.

Tuesday I had guitar lessons and ran errands, and relaxed at home. Wednesday and today were work days. Same ups and downs as all work days. We did carve pumpkins at work this week, and I baked the seeds for the kids. It was fun!

I guess, overall, it was a good week!

"God has made us to flourish by being spent for others."

Congratulations Nate and Kate!

Happy Four-Year Anniversary!!!

Kimberly,

God has broken your heart for unbelievers and your passion for simply loving them well is beautiful. You are beautiful.

I love growing with you. Being with you. Life with you, its more than anything I could hope for.

And you're strong. Strong enough to be the knot at the end of my rope. Strong enough to love me when I'm hard to love.

You make me laugh. You make me crazy. You make me want to be a better man.

There just aren't words to say certain things, and this is one of them.

God has blessed me greatly with a wife.

With you.

Day 25: Your Day in Detail

My day in detail? Well, it started about noon.

I stay up late and sleep in most days.
I'm a second-shifter, so it just work out that way.

I ate cereal with yogurt and grapes at the dining table with Kimberly, and chatted about our day. I did some lounging, Facebooking, blog reading, checked and replied to e-mails, and sent and responded to a few texts before getting ready for work.

I left the apartment at 2pm and arrived on New Haven Campus around 2:17pm. I clocked-in and then visited HR to asked some questions about insurance because I'll be eligible for it very soon. I then went to the house I work in and spoke with my supervisor about a concern I have, then drove to another New Haven location where trainings and meetings are held for a staff meeting/discussion on employee satisfaction and staff presence in a group home.

At 4pm I headed back to my group home and took two of my kids outside to play while my boss took the other kid to buy pumpkins to carve. I prepared dinner for the kids, myself, and the other staff working in my house, then set the table. I prompted all the rug-rats to shower and do their chores, and then we all ate together.

During the meal, two of my kids got into a fight, which launched one kid into a three-hour tantrum which involved . . . an incredible amount of ridiculousness. He threw chairs, kicked in doors, punched windows, shoved the other kids, screamed at me, jabbed himself in the testicles with a fork . . . yeah, you read that right, he jabbed himself in the testicles with a fork.

Just to get a reaction.
Know what he got out of me?
Nothin'.

Then the bedtime routine began. More chores. Many many many prompts to get the little ones to scuttle off to bed. Then, story time! I read Cinderella, then the story of Jonah. After reading the fairytale, one of the kids actually requested the bible, so I happily obliged.

Then the oldest kid, who happened to be the buttface that went crazy earlier, was too scared to fall asleep. He's very afraid of the dark and sleeps with the lights on. So, I sat outside his door and studied a great book I'm reading by John Piper. Finally, the kid fell asleep and I did my paperwork for the day and finished the cleaning.

I left work about 12:45am and drove home in silence, besides talking to myself a bit. I like to talk out scenarios sometimes. It de-stresses me. On the way home I realized I haven't really blogged in a few days and haven't kept up with the 30 Day Challenge (see side bar) so I thought I'd get back on board tonight.

Parking sucked at our apartment as usual. When I got inside I found a lovely note from my wife (it's our anniversary) who was already asleep. I went into the bedroom to kiss her hello/goodnight and add an extra blanket to the bed because she felt cold, then I settled down on the couch to blog before hitting the sack myself!

Then end ;o)

"In dealing with our sin we can make two mistakes. One is to make light of it. The other is to be overwhelmed by it." -John Piper

". . . weak grace is always joined with too strong corruption . . ." -Richard Baxter

"Now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads to sanctification and its end, eternal life." Romans 6:22

Day 24: Whatever Tickles Your Fancy

Since beginning work here in SoCal, Kimberly and I haven't been able to spend a single beginning-to-end whole day together.

Up until last Sunday.

And Sundays for now on.

Today we went to church, did lunch with friends, went grocery shopping, then lounged in front of the patio window listening to it rain together while watching Weird Science and season 4 of The Tutors.

It was lovely ;o)

Day 23: A Youtube Video

I've posted this before, about a month and a half ago, but I love it. The creativity that went into this is outstanding.

And its very sweet.

God has created many beautiful things, and as it is with all art, there is much to learn about Him through his creations. This video is a good reminder of that.

Especially if you're a pet lover ;o)

upside down

"Only intelligent repentance, living faith, and tangible obedience turn the world upside down."

-David Powlison

Day 22: A Website

I am lame.

I love mah jong.
There. I said it.

I've been going HERE to play a lot, lately.
It's kinda chensey. But I love the Halloween theme.

Day 21: A Recipe

I'm not much of a cook, but something I do make occasionally is peanut butter fudge. Its super easy and soooo good!

Ingredients

• 1 cup butter, plus more for greasing pan
• 1 cup peanut butter
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
• 1 pound powdered sugar

Directions

On low heat, melt butter and peanut butter. Add vanilla and powdered sugar to peanut butter mixture and stir to combine with a wooden spoon. After reaching desired consistency, pour into a buttered 8 by 8-inch pan lined with waxed paper. Let cool before cutting and serving.

Day 20: A Hobby of Yours

Yay, hobbies! Hobbies are so much easier to claim than talents.
For me, anyway.

Anytime I hear someone state a talent or gift they have, I'm always a little shocked. Not that I immediately assume they are conceded or anything, and not that I would disagree that they are indeed talented or gifted in said area, its just . . . odd to me. Surprising.

My mind just doesn't work that way.

But hobbies, I got lots of those.

Songwriting.
Singing.
Drawing.
Painting.
Blogging.
Graphic design.
Photography.
Video games.
Poetry.
Hiking.
Etc.

Day 19: A Talent of Yours

Scream at me. Swear at me.
Hit me. Bite me.
Spit on me. Slap me.

Do whatever.
And I'll still love you.

I'll give you a shoulder to cry on when you need it.
I'll be a voice of reason when you're willing to listen.

I'll be there for you in any way I can.
No matter what.

Some people call it a gift.
I'm starting to see it that way, too.

Of course, it's not of my own doing, but God's.

I also have a talent for saying things at just the wrong time.
This is of my own doing, and not God's ;o)

Today's Writing Prompt: Sign

What traffic sign best reflects your life right now?

Road Work Ahead.

'Cuz srsly.

There's always more work to be done.

Lots of it.

Day 18: Whatever Tickles Your Fancy

Anybody remember Eerie Indiana?

Anyone? Think early/mid 90's . . .

Family-friendly fun, with just a touch of spook?

Love it!

Woot! Woot!

Today's Writing Prompt: Lie

Write about a time someone told you a lie when you were growing up.

My dad is an ornery guy at times.

I was a little tyke, not sure how old I was. My dad would put horseradish on his sandwiches. Not the mild, creamy stuff you buy in a squeeze bottle. He actually grew the horseradish, grated it, and made the dressing himself.

It's hot. Burn-my-nose-when-I-take-a-bite kinda hot.
I love the stuff now, but as kid, dang.

So, there I was. Innocent and all cute and stuff. Passing through the kitchen.
And Dad offers me a bite of his sandwich. I declined and told him I knew it had that hot stuff in it.

Then the lie.

He said it didn't, probably thinking I was just doing that kid thing where you say you don't like something but you've never really tried it. But what Dad didn't know was, I really never did that as I kid. I pretty much tried it all.

So I naively took a bite.
Yep. It burned my nose.

Day 17: An Art Piece

I love Seaport Village.

There's an awesome vibe there.
Very . . . chill.

If you follow the walkway alongside the water just outside the village of shops you'll come across a small park area with a great view.

And its the coolest spot!
Each picnic table is its own piece of artwork.
This one is my favorite. Its got these giant ants and PB&J.

Missing Home: Thanks for the Pic Mom!

Day 16: A Song That Makes You Cry (Or Nearly)

Shimmering sands. Glittering oceans. Towering trees.
The delicate beauty of a butterfly.

There is no end to the wanders and greatness of God's creations; from the miracle of a tiny seed to the burning sun.

And its incredible and almost unfathomable to think He not only loves me, but loves me more than all of these other amazing creations of His.

I was introduced to Matthew West's song More when I first began tackling this notion, and it moved me. The song also has special significance for me because of its connection to my first experience of being used by the Lord to lead a person to Him. He was a young man named Quincy, and after months of heart-to-hearts and prayers, he found himself at a place of belief in God, but in disbelief in a god who could ever possibly love him. So we stepped outside and gazed at the stars. I asked "Why would God place these here, other than to say, 'Here I am!'? And why would He care for you to even know He's there unless He loved you?" Then I played More for him on my ipod and left Quincy to be alone with God. When he came indoors, it was with tears in his eyes. "How could He love me with all the things I've done? But He does! He does!"

So, yeah. This song triggers that memory. And that memory triggers a tear or two.

 

Take a look at the mountains / Stretching a mile high / Take a look at the ocean / Far as your eye can see / And think of Me / Take a look at the desert / Do you feel like a grain of sand? / I am with you wherever / Where you go is where I am / And I'm always thinking of you / Take a look around you / I'm spelling it out one by one //Chorus// I love you more than the sun / And the stars that I taught how to shine / You are mine, and you shine for me too / I love you yesterday and today / And tomorrow, I'll say it again and again / I love you more // Just a face in the city / Just a tear on a crowded street / But you are one in a million / And you belong to Me / And I want you to know / That I'm not letting go / Even when you come undone //Chorus// Shine for Me / Shine for Me / Shine on, shine on / Shine for Me //Chorus 2x// And I see you / And I made you / And I love you more than you can imagine / More than you can fathom / I love you more than the sun / And you shine for me

Day 15: Fanfic

Joss Whedon is an amazing artist.

And he created what is my favorite piece of "fanfic."

You see, when he saw the movie Buffy the Vampire Slayer, he thought there was a good story in there somewhere.

So he played around with it, consequently creating a seven-season television show, a successful four-season spin-off show, a musical, slews of books, and well received comics. Literally, all just fanfic from a goofy movie he dug.

Day 14: A Non-Fiction Book

"Brothel" by Alexa Albert.

I read it for three different classes at BSU.

Its not the skeezy kind of book you'd think it is. It's about the women working at the Mustang Ranch during Alexa's research; their lives and how they got to where they are, their families, their dreams and ambitions.

I love qualitative research, diving into a world misunderstood and often unseen.

I want to know peoples' lives. Even the ones that aren't all too pleasant.

Day 13: Fictional Book

"A Wrinkle in Time" by Madeleine L'Engle.

I don't remember much about this book, but I read it in the fourth grade and liked it a lot.

Last night we were at Target and I saw it on the shelf.
I had completely forgotten about it until I saw it!

Perhaps I'll have to check it out again sometime soon . . .

100510

• Its been a very cool, rainy day. And I've loved every second of it! Very peaceful. And homey. And romantic. Sigh, so nice!

• Kimmy and I spent most of the day together today and yesterday. It was wonderful! Because we work conflicting shifts and I'm picking up some overtime hours, we see one another so scarcely. So the past two days have been great!

• I've been obsessive lately. Lots of racing thoughts. I've always wanted to learn to play the guitar so I thought now would be the perfect time, using it to help me focus my non-stop mojo towards something specific. My first lesson was today, and I practiced for about six hours. It was a lot of fun, and I learned a lot!

• Did I mention I love that its cool outside?

• Things at work are going well. I'm no longer the only full-time, regular staff in the program! Yep, that's right! The era of working with all fill-in's is coming to a close! I'm so excited to be working with the people that have joined the team! And after just one week I can already see the difference excellent staffing makes in the group-home for the kids!

• Its been sooooo long since I've been hiking! I've gotta get back out to Daley Ranch. I've probably gained back all the weight I lost! Having a job really complicates things! lol! It's harder to make time for those kinds of things, plus eating the food at work that I cook for the kids probably isn't helping either!

• Kimmy and I just finished the one and only season of a show on DVD called Moonlight. It was sorta cheeseriffic, but enjoyable. Fortunately, it ended on a relatively good note to leave the show on, so we're not sitting on the edge of our seats and angry because it wasn't picked up for a second season.

• Via my Live Feed Traffic widget, I see my blog readers are growing more diverse, stretching to several new states and a few new countries too. Sweet! I love how technology can connect people!

Day 12: Whatever Tickles Your Fancy

Sticky little fingers twisting into my beard.
Chubby brown arms wrapped around my neck.

"Please Nathan?"

He could easily fall asleep, if he'd just lay down.
But I surrender.

He releases me from his hug and I stand up.

I walk him to his room and pull his covers back so he can crawl into bed, then tuck them back snugly under his chin.

I pull a chair into the bedroom doorway and have a seat, clear my throat, and begin to hum.
Somewhere in my low, gravely voice he finds a place where no one gets hurt. Never.
A place where no one calls him names.
And where it doesn't matter that his mom is in prison.

And its in this place he drifts asleep.

And I drift away to another place, too.
To a place where all that matters is these five children feeling safe and secure.
A place where the chaos comes to an end.

Drifting.

Anyone Can Become Great

"Whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant; and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be slave of all." - Mark 10:43b-44

Deep down inside, don't you want to be great? But exactly what does it mean to be great? The world measures greatness in different ways. Probably the most common way that the world defines greatness is accomplishment, people that achieve great things. You might go back into ancient history and think about Alexander the Great, because he conquered the known world by the time he was 33 years old, and then wept that there were no more worlds to conquer. Or you may think about Thomas Edison with over a thousand patents to his name. Or consider Einstein and his amazing discoveries in quantum physics.

Others would say real greatness is all about power. In Jesus' time, Caesar Augustus would be considered truly great because of all the power he held. In the modern world, you look at US presidents - that is the big enchilada, because there is no position more powerful than that!

Actually anyone can become great and Jesus tells us how: "...whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant; and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be slave of all." Jesus - the greatest man to ever exist says He didn't come to be served; He came to serve, even to the point of trading His life for our salvation.

The greatest man was also the greatest servant. And that is what He calls us to do. He calls us follow in the footsteps of Jesus and to serve our fellow man. It's the only lasting road to greatness.

*Borrowed from HERE.

Day 11: A Photo of You Taken Recently

Me and Mommacita.

Taken just this past July, in Vegas.

Day 10: A Photo of You 10+ Years Old

Here we are.

Ten years ago.

17 years old.

Cute as the dickens and so in love.

Not much has changed ;o)

Er

Could this fight 

get any uglier?

Don't answer that.

Day 09: Photo That You've Taken

I took this picture early '09 during a missions trip in Jamaica. Overall, it was a wonderful experience, and I couldn't help but give a piece of my heart to this little girl. I think this is my favorite photo I've ever taken. Every time I look at it I remember the very moment I took it, like it was yesterday; crouching down in the dirt with Cleoneese as she watched with curiosity as we worked. And when those big brown eyes looked up at me as she gestured for a drink of my water, my heart nearly shattered. Because of all these things, as well as many other memories of playing with her and rocking her to sleep throughout that week, this picture stirs up a lot of emotion.

WOW!

Go HERE.

Give it a listen.

I'm not smart enough to figure out how to leave a comment on Tumbler, but WOW!

Fantastic, Coby!

Day 08: Photo That Makes You Sad/Angry

This photo makes me a little sad.

I miss quiet evenings by the fire.

And I feel kinda angry that I didn't take advantage of them more often.

Parched corn over the fire?
Mmm . . .