an emotion related to one's psychological interpretation of having been offended, wronged or denied and a tendency to react through retaliation.
I've been reacting; retaliating.
Offended. Wronged. Denied.
But have I? Really? How have I been offended or wronged? What have I been denied?
One of the things I appreciate the most about this particular definition of anger (there are many variations out there) is the use of the word interpretation.
It's all about perception. We often feel entitled to things we're undeserving of, so its easy to feel wronged or denied when really, we've just unknowingly experienced a healthy dose of reality.
I'm not exactly sure what's going on in the recesses of my brain. Maybe I'm processing some long repressed garbage from childhood. Maybe I'm experiencing an existential crisis or some other phenomenon that has been occurring since Adam and Eve took a bite of the naughty fruit, but has only recently been assigned psycho-jargon.
I don't know what's going on. All I know is that my fuse is short, and its been lit. My patience is down and my frustration is up. I'm angry.
I've been learning about grace lately. Part of me is wondering if I've ever truly accepted the grace I've been given, and if I've demonstrated grace within myself. I was also learning a lot about deliverance, but my interest began waning, so I've set that book aside. Perhaps I've never completely accepted deliverance from myself, my past, my flesh, etc., which is what drove me away from the topic.
Nonetheless, I'm praying, or trying to pray, for more grace. More deliverance. A renewed perspective. A storm to be calmed.