In Case You Were Wondering: Room Changes

One of my biggest headaches at work is arranging room assignments. You see, its a difficult thing to determine which sexually maladaptive kid should or should not share a bedroom with another. Most of them are willingly participants to engage in sexual behavior and a majority of them already have their sights on at least one peer they'd like to have some alone time with. Well, today one of my residents informed me he's afraid he can no longer fight the urge to kiss his roommate while he's sleeping. This is just one example of several situations that have popped up recently, so most of tomorrow will be dedicated to making some room changes. And by most of the day, I seriously mean it will require hours of conversation and consideration. The last room change I did took about six hours, and this one will be a bit more extensive, so it might take even longer. Completing room changes requires a bit of history review over each resident. It's important to understand the full spectrum of their sexual offenses and examine these behaviors for patterns. For example, if a resident has a history of repeatedly offending against children who appear much younger than themselves, we need to be sure to arrange accordingly. Likewise, we have many residents who often focus their grooming behaviors towards peers who are or seem older than themselves. Also, we have to take recent occurrences and social dynamics into account. Has one particular resident been especially nice to another recently, such as giving things away to him? If so, we have to consider whether or not this is a grooming behavior, preparing the target for future sexual advances. This also might be a maintenance behavior, where an abusive relationship is maintained through bribery, manipulation, and guilt. On the other hand, we must also watch for the opposite type of behavior. Verbal aggression and hatefulness is sometimes a sign of a sadomasochistic dynamic and sexual tension, which isn't uncommon with this population. It's important to include staff in these conversations. They may not necessarily read into the behaviors like you would because they're exposed to it for 40+ hours a week and become a bit desensitized, but they can describe what behaviors they see, which will help you make a more informed decision. (And don't be upset with staff for not always putting two and two together. This is how they remain sane. It's your job to be crazy here.) Of course, there are policies and legalities to consider as well. Fourteen is the age of sexual consent in Indiana, so no one fourteen years old or older can share a room with someone thirteen or younger. Also, we don't typically place residents together who are two years apart. However, this is not always possible. Lastly, and most disturbing, sometimes you just have to ask the residents, "So, who are you attracted to here? Who get's ya going?" It's hard to do, but sometimes the kids will be surprisingly honest and provide you with a lot of useful, and possibly disgusting, information. Some final pointers: Who grosses who out? Find out, and put them together. Got someone who wets the bed? Good. This is your freebie! No one wants to have sex with him, so you don't have to worry too much about where you put him. Same goes for the smelly kid. But the one who is always so polite . . . watch him close. He's a manipulater. So there you have it! The next time you find yourself contemplating, "How are earth are we going to make sleeping arrangements for all these sexually maladaptive kids?" you'll have all the answers!