Hope Epidemic: The Complete Series

snapshot: 082911 1400 PST

Making my first attempt at body boarding with Kimmy and the Canady's in Carlsbad.

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we

We.

Its a beautiful word. I didn't realize how beautiful it was until yesterday.

When a person uses the word 'we' in just the right context, something very special has happened.

An immersion has occurred.
A (hopefully) mutual acceptance.

An investment.

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view

I recently became aware that my time in the Word was slacking, and it was evident in my disposition. So I started picking up a little bit of that slack, and its fascinating how rapidly God tends to my heart when I seek Him.

I also find it to be no coincidence that just within two short days of a spiritual high I fell under attack.

It seems there is nothing the enemy would love to do more than to create a chasm better me and my Maker. When times of depression, anxiety, and self-doubt come, its especially easy to fall into thought patterns and turn to coping mechanisms that only take me further from God.

If I only turn my prayers from asking, "God, help me find my way out of this valley," to "God, help me find YOU in this valley," I find myself standing on a mountain peak.

And the view from here is beautiful.

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um... nevermind

comforts

“When I said, 'My foot is slipping', Your mercy and loving-kindness, O Lord, held me up. In the multitude of my anxious thoughts within me, Your comforts cheer and delight my soul!”

Psalm 94:18-19 AMP

right direction

Back in early Spring, I weighed in at a doctor's visit at 244lbs. I knew I was the biggest I'd ever been... but dang! I was not expecting the scales to tell me what they did.

That was a motivator.

So I hit it hard. I strictly dieted and worked out regularly until I lost an even 40lbs. At 204, I felt the best I'd felt in a long time, but, as with all good habits, I got off-track.

So, 6lbs later, I'm back on it. That's right, I've gained 6lbs back over the past two months, but I'm not feeling discouraged. In fact, I'm actually kinda excited. See, I lose and gain weight easily. So to have gained just 3lbs a month would seem to indicate I've retained at least a little bit of healthy living.

Or maybe that's just me being too optimistic.

But either way, it feels good to be heading back in the right direction. I mean, I'm just one jog and a few salads into it, but... right direction.

My goal? Well, first of all, to be under 200lbs for the first time in... since I can remember.
But then? Right now I'm thinking something around 180lb.

And after typing that, I'm wondering if I'm being overly optimistic again.
But alas, I'm less of a goal oriented person and more of a "right direction" kinda guy.

So I'm not stressing it... much.

12:47am

I think about the damnedest things at the damnedest times.

Its been a great day, a great week even. Then BAM!
Its suddenly 12:47am and my stomach feels all topsy turvy.

I guess, from time to time, we all have to have our crummy moods and spells of self doubt.
I'm just wondering why these times couldn't come at more convenient hours of the day.

But I guess that'd be less of a struggle. And struggle is, after all, good for the character.
Or something.

'Til 'Lil Cuckoo Flies

Creation. The fall of man. The coming of Christ. His ministry on earth. His crucifixion. His resurrection. Our Salvation. His Holy Spirit. His awaited return.

A lot to digest.
But so important.

Today I played Momma Bird. I took every bit of spiritual truth that has ever nourished me, and I chewed on it, and chewed on it, and chewed on it. Then I regurgitated it all back up in teeny tiny bites just right for a cuckoo nestling.

It was a long process. And messy.
And, undoubtedly, it will need to be done all over again soon. Many, many times.

But Momma Bird ain't gonna stop 'til 'Lil Cuckoo flies.

from the mouth of babes: 082111

"The devil told me to kill myself."

Sigh.

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Psalm 51:10-13 MSG

God, make a fresh start in me, shape a Genesis week from the chaos of my life. Don't throw me out with the trash, or fail to breathe holiness in me. Bring me back from gray exile, put a fresh wind in my sails! Give me a job teaching rebels your ways so the lost can find their way home.

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getting dressed

So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.

Colossians 3:12-14 MSG 

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Missing My Target

I've been missing my target left and right.

I just can't seem to focus in and hit my mark.

Its frustrating.
Very frustrating.

But I'm sure its all in the aim.

"Only aim at and strive for and seek His kingdom..." Luke 12:31

Today's Writing Prompt: Let go

When (if ever) do you really "let go"? 

If you think of me as quiet and reserved, you might not really know me all that well. Truth is, although I can seem that way at times, I'm actually kinda zany. The extent of that zaniness, however, is dependent on my mood and comfort level. So, when are you most likely to see my own special brand of crazy? Usually its a private show reserved for my wife, my closest friends, and most children. When I'm around these people and for whatever reasons feeling extra free from self-consciousness, be prepared: this is when I'm most likely to really "let go."

Today's Writing Prompt: Younger/Older

Write about a way in which you seem younger than you really are, and a way in which you seem older.

Hm...  younger? Well, I love cartoons and candy. I'm pretty goofy, overall. I never stop playing pretend and I like wearing my big furry slippers in the winter. I laugh at inappropriate times and love being read to.

But older? I guess I'm grumpy a lot. And extremely scattered-brained. I drive slow and I like taking rides. I'm not a fan of hooligans. I recognize the nutritional importance of fiber and everyday begins with a few little pills.

snapshot: 081311 1400 PST

Father God, thank You for the beauty of Your creation and how it speaks to me. Thank You for this crazy group of kids You've placed in my life, and thank You for the opportunity to share this place with them.

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right things

I work in a field that is challenging and generates little to no profit; therefore the employee application pool is shallow at best. Basically, if you're willing to work, you're hired. If you're qualified to work, you're likely to move on quickly to something else.

And so, what is often left (often, but not always) is... crap.

It pains me to refer to a human being as crap.
But dang. (And for the record, I'm crap, too.)

The lack of ethics is outstanding; the lack of professionalism.
Its overwhelming.

So I have a few options.

The easier options are the least moral.
The most difficult options are the right things to do.

Boo.

In the Wild

I'm With You... no I'm not. But I miss you!

Before she traded baggy pants for fancy dresses and mousy hair for bleached-out tresses,  Avril Lavigne had a couple awesome albums.

My favorite song of her's is I'm With You. It's one of those uber depressing songs that's just too pretty and heart wrenching to not love.

It was still pretty fresh right around my freshman year of college, so it was always on the radio.

-V- and I would carpool to school, and every time the song played we'd belt out its simple melancholy melody, all while pretending to slit our wrists dramatically. (Inapro-pro. I know.)

The three of us, Kimberly, -V-, and I, we tend to... speak our own language. We have all these rules and quarks. One thing we used to do is sing I'm With You, but our own little version; "I'm standing on a bridge..." then whatever we were actually doing to follow. For example, "I'm standing on a bridge, wanna go to Puerta, I really want salsa, right now."

Okay, so in print its really not that funny. But its a fun memory...

Anyway, I had this song stuck in my head the other day and decided to learn how to play it on the guitar, and ever since I've been missing me some crazy GameCube, Puerta, three amigos time.

Miss you, -V-!

God's Love

Sometimes its a smile. Or an unexpected gesture of kindness.
But no matter what it looks like, its a blessing.

Loving people with God's love regardless of... well, pretty much regardless of everything...
It can be trying.

But from time to time it can also be quite rewarding.

It starts in spurts. Little tiny spurts.

Last week it was a glass of ice water on a hot day.
Today it was a shoulder rub.

Sometimes, just sometimes, when you love someone with God's love, they love you back.
With God's love.

And that's a beautiful thing; to see firsthand God's love where there once was none.
A beautiful thing.

from the mouth of babes 080711

Me: When's the last time you brushed your teeth?

Peanut: Um... (touches his front teeth to estimate when he last brushed based on the crust) I'm gonna go brush them now.

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everyone/somewhere

"Everyone is someone who will spend eternity somewhere."

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Today's Writing Prompt: Dream

Do you have reoccurring dreams?

Yes. Every night.
Awful dreams about high school.

I probably need therapy.

Noticing

Yesterday was Jame's birthday, which I spent at Disney. Not with him celebrating, but with tickets he gave us for free.

He ended up with them, and instead of looking to make a dollar he looked to bless some people.

He could have made some easy cash and sold me the two tickets for fifty bones, which I would've jumped at.

But nope.

He just gave them to us.
And two more tickets to the Canadys, too.

That's just how he is.
Always looking for unique ways to love people.

And I wanted to note this, not simply because yesterday was his birthday or in knowing he'll most likely read this and feel all warm 'n fuzzy inside (although I would love to make him feel loved because I do in fact love him ;o)

But I wanted to note this because it is just so literally how he lives his life that after knowing him for a while I kinda stopped noticing.

Which is a shame.

I guess it must be some kind of compliment when you do something positive so naturally that people stop noticing... right?

Disney! 080111