they be making me crazy!
I work three twelve-hour shifts, 11am to 11pm. When I report for duty, the evening staff I relieve gives me the low-down on the day's happenings.
Typically, its not a pretty story.
And those details; the threats and the violence, the opposition and the insults, they all paint a picture of what my morning might look like when all these darling 'lil kiddos rise and shine... And more often than not, the picture painted tends to be pretty accurate. So there I sit, ruminating and dreading what will inevitably come to be.
I try to keep my attitude in check and be positive but, well, thats stinkin' hard to do at times. With funds running low, the money just isn't there for the counties to send these kids to a higher level of care, even when thats what some of them really need. And with our organization not doing too great itself, we're definitely not turning kids away, even when we're unequipped to treat them.
Its a hot mess. And until the economy picks up and helping troubled kids become a priority, its unlikely to get much better. Hence my frustration.
Compassion fatigue has set in, or is revisiting, and I've run out of room in my heart. My knee is jacked up from busting down a barricaded door and doing a restraint last weekend, I leave work most days smelling like the spit of dirty kids who haven't used a toothbrush in only God knows how long, and I guess I'm just tired of the continuous string of unresolved crisis'.
Yep. Off with their heads! All of them! Just make it painless...
I guess I must still have a little room in my heart for them after all :-)
"Frequently people think compassion and love are merely sentimental. No! They are very demanding. If you are going to be compassionate, be prepared for action."
-Archbishop Desmond Tutu