Snapshot: 012913 1300 PST

Whew! It's over! Well... partly. Today I attended a job fair and met all the possible sites for  my soon-to-be indentured servitude known as practicum. You know, just one of those pesky 'work-a-full-time-job-without-pay-while-working-your-real-job-and-still-be-a-student' sort of requirements for an MA... I smiled. I shook hands. I handed out contact info. And now? Now I'm just waiting to hear back  and hopefully start setting up some interviews. After the fair, several students met at PF Changs for some much needed debriefing. I needed to hear other people's anxiety to normalize my own, so I left feeling much better! Of course, the delicious food and encouraging fortune cookie  didn't hurt either. Or the martini. The martini didn't hurt either...

Wah fest

My wife. Sigh. It's been over three weeks since I've spent more than one consistent waking hour with her. Life has gotta slow down a little before we forget what each other look like!

School. Ug. The two classes I'm in right now are kicking my butt. I know I've said this before, but I think this might be the semester my beautiful 4.0 goes swirling down the toilet...

Practicum. Shudder. Practicum approaches. One year contract. Three shifts a week. No Pay. All while still working the job that actually does pay me and attending normal on-campus classes.

Life. Ahhh. It's crazy! And its going to get crazier. The good news is, I have until Fall before the practicum sites start scheduling shifts. So I've got a little time. But I can't help but freak.

People? Hello!? Anyone? I'm already pretty isolated. My interactions outside of work, school, and church are not existent. I have pockets of time here and there, but they're pockets that normal people need to fill with other things. Normal, not me, kinda things. 

So I'm a lone ranger. Getting more and more alone. 

Pity poor me. No wife. No friends. So is hard. Wah. (I'm mocking myself, humorously. If you could hear me write now, you'd laugh. I think.)

*I mean, of course I have a wife and friends. I'm blessed with people in my life. I'm just busy and so are they! And BTW, as much as school stresses me out, I love it and its a privilege to be able to extend my education! There. Don't judge me. I've reconciled my illogical ranting. Put away those judgy little eyes.

Yes, you.  Those eyes. They're judgy.

blah

I really don't feel like doing much of anything right now, anything productive, that is.

And certainly not homework.

I've had a lingering case of the blah's for a few days now. I have enjoyed some creative writing, but the second school crosses my thoughts, my brain shuts down.

I blame Christmas break.
I was out of class too long.

Snapshot: 011913 1300 PST

Issues and Ethics in the Helping Professions;

made tolerable by a little shaved ice...

an impromptu catch-up with a friend...

and a borrowed textbook already highlighted, underlined, and filled-in.

Sitting outside on the most gorgeous day imaginable didn't hurt either!

Study time can't get much better than hitting the books at the Sweet Sno' Shaved Ice shop!

Snapshot: 011513 1500 PST

I dreamed a dream

So painfully beautiful. There's really no other way I can of think to describe this performance by Anne Hathaway in Les Miserables. So impeccably venerable and broken.

exposure

Scabies. Ringworms. Bedbugs. And only the good Lord knows what else.

Over the past couple weeks I've been exposed to some serious yuck.

Everything itches.

No, I've not contracted any of these communicable fungi or parasites... as of yet, but I am definitely psyching myself out.

This place I call "work,"is a total petri dish. A science experiment.

Maybe they're secretly trying to create a new species?

I can't help but dig my nails into my skin. Particularly my scalp, beard, and chest. Just knowing that all these nasty little things are nearby burrowing, crawling, or whatever disgusting means of travel they prefer... eh, it makes me do that weird shuddery, shaky thing people do when they're freaked out. I hate it.

Work is now a battleground in a whole different way than before. Hand-sanitizer is my new BFF. I wear rubber gloves before touching any laundry and before doing any sort of cleaning. I refuse to sit on the upholstered furniture, and the concentrated '1-part-chemical, 10-parts-water' cleaning solution we use is a little less diluted than what it technically should be...

I've been exposed. And I'm taking action.

But what about all the other things I've been exposed to in life? The things I see and hear? Experiences? The state of the world and modern culture? I'm guarding my dermatological health, but what about my heart? After all, exposure can lead to infection...

Exposure is unavoidable. As Christians, we may not be of this world, but we are certainly meant to be in it. How else could we glorify God? When I come into contact with sin and depravity, I may end up doing a little "scratching," but real action needs to be taken...

Spiritual sanitizing.

What does that look like? I'm sure no believer would argue against time in the Word and prayer, but I think that to fully benefit from those things we have to first accept that our Christian bubble is, in fact, permeable. We need God.  Life gets to us. Sin gets to us. Even when it's not our own sin.

Infection can be sneaky. Maybe its in the form of a jaded heart after being exposed to a lot of pain in others. Maybe it manifests into your own sinning. Maybe its simply a failure to pray when exposed to a situation warranting prayer. I don't know; the possibilities are endless...

But I do know we're exposed. Daily. Don't think for a second it's not going to affect (or infect) you. Take action.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23

Be free. Own the gospel.

Sin is a pit. Dark and deep. Easy to fall into. Hard to crawl out of. And I have this theory...

Shame can become a ball and chain, making it even more difficult to climb out of that darkness and to feel the warmth of mercy again...

We're forgiven. But if you're like me, that's hard to accept. Hard to own. Shame looms over my head like a cloud sometimes. It's not so much a thought process. Not so much  a series of regrets. It's more of an emotion. An awareness of my own depravity. My sin. That ball and chain.

Shame. Shame is abused by the enemy as a way of tethering us to the very world we've been set free from. Shame is the shadow that obscures our sight of the miracle of God's grace.

Recognize the true purpose of shame. Recognize it as a red flag to confess and repent. Then accept His forgiveness as the gift that it is. Rejoice in it. Rejoice and be free. Testify to His glory. Own the gospel. 

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1John 1:9

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:12

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8)

"For God so greatly loved and dearly prized the world that He gave up His only Son, so that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
"Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood." Isaiah 54:4

$91.25

Ninety-one dollars and twenty-five cents. 

I type that all out to stress the ridiculously high cost of the textbook I just ordered. Sure, I'm accustomed to the highway robbery we call textbooks, but what bothers me about this particular book is that it's written by the professor teaching the course. 

He's sure making bank from me.

Snapshot: 011013 1300 PST

I picked up my friend Nate around noon today to do a little hiking out at Daley Ranch .

It's the first time I've really gotten outside in a while, and it felt great. 4.9 miles with some inclines and declines. The perfect amount of exertion: enough to sweat and burn some calories, but not enough to be miserable. It was a beautiful day, too. About 70'F, blue skies, gentle breeze. Lovely.

One of the nice things about Daley Ranch is that its really close by, yet out just far enough to escape the sounds of the city (except the occasional airplane). I was able to experience nature today. Smell it. Hear it. Feel it under my feet. Feeling drawn to God and a special closeness to Him amongst His creation.

And then, of course, there were the conversations. The camaraderie. Accountability. Encouragement. The kind of comfort that seems to only come from Christian fellowship.

I arrived home later this afternoon with a little more pep in my step. My awareness and sensitivity to God's presence in my life has been stirred, just when the waters were beginning to still.

Good hike.

Snapshot: 010813 1600 PST

Just got my herz did!
Feelin' fresh and new!

From the wolf-man to dapper Dan.
Kimmy's got mad skillz.

Of course, it was just a 'lil trimmy trim.
Lettin' the locks grow out again!

I think, anyway...

Home for the Holidays '12

December 23, Kimberly and I headed back home to Indiana so we could celebrate Christmas with my parents and her mother this year.  Although I spent about a week with my mom and dad in November '11 and Kimberly made a quick 48 hour stop that previous summer, this was the first time we've made the trek back home together since moving to SoCal three years ago. 

We were greeted by a blanket of fresh snow almost every morning. The peanut-butter fudge flowed freely. Pizza King was but a ten minute drive away. Soda became "pop" again. Going to the movies was just something fun to do instead of a serious financial commitment to make...

We were home again, in Indiana.

Of course, all humor aside, spending time with our long-distanced loved-ones was certainly the highlight of our trip. I'm happy to be back in San Diego; I love it here and this is my home now... but it felt really good to visit with some special people in Indiana, and I wish we could be a bigger part of one another's lives. Catching up with some old friends and family members is like riding a bicycle.

Having such a wonderful time with my parents made me miss them even more than what I did before this trip. Every second with them was a blessing. I'm already looking forward to the next time I can see them!

Happy holidays? You bet!

Walk in Love

"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

Ephesians 5:2-1

2012 MY LIFE mash.up / remix

After lots of technical difficulties and frustration... IT'S FINALLY HERE! I always look forward to posting a wrap-up video at the end of each year and was disappointed I couldn't follow my own tradition of posting the video right on January 1st like I have for the last three of four years now. In order to just crank it out and get it posted asap, it's just not quite as fancy-schmancy as it's been in the past. But I am super excited about this year's song selection! It's my first-ever self-made mash up! It's made up of several #1 hits of 2012 and was a blast to make! Happy New Year to all! I hope you enjoy looking back and reflecting with me!

2011, 2010, 2009, 2008

randomacity 010713

- It's 2013? 2013!? WOW!!!

- I'm not sure what else God could give me to bless me anymore than what He already has!

- Our trip back home to Indiana? Awesome! I'll write about that soon...

- I've been on break from school for too long. Kinda makes it hard to go back... but I'll get into the swing of things again, no time flat!

Snapshot: 010213

!Homeward bound! Halfway there! Woot! Woot! Hooray!