Joy

1. Feelings of great happiness or pleasure, especially of an elevated or spiritual kind
2. A pleasurable aspect of something, or something that is seen as a source of happiness

So, for those of you who don’t know, my job can become quite . . . interesting at times. I manage a residential treatment program for sexually maladaptive youth. Yep, juvenile sex offenders. Normally, that’s all I have to say, and people are ready to talk about the weather.

It’s actually a great job to have though. I work with fantastic staff and really feel like I am working to benefit others. I really am blessed to be where I’m at in life and feel like God is using me to make a difference. But providing treatment, creating a non-threatening yet secure environment, and protecting the community simultaneously is strenuous at times.

Today just happened to be one of those days where it all just caught up with me. It would be inappropriate, and disturbing to most readers, to go into detail, but the events and issues of the past couple weeks have been a little overwhelming. Sitting in a meeting and speaking casually about some recent situations, I suddenly had an epiphany, “Holy crap!” I thought, “This sucks!” For about two minutes I felt completely defeated.

Then, I laughed. I couldn’t help but do anything else! I laughed when I was notified of a new concern, and I laughed when checking my mail to receive an unpleasant letter. I laughed when I realized someone I had been helping all day just lied to me, and I laughed when leaving the office, knowing I was leaving so much unfinished.

These were all inappropriate times to laugh. Yes. Be assured, I’m not crazy. I understand this. I understand that laughter would usually indicate some degree of joy. But that’s the thing. At that point of misery, I still had a sense of joy, confirming that despite the obstacles I may face or the frustration I may feel, I am right where God wants me to be.