crazy good

A seven-year wedding anniversary and a night at the casino. A visit from Mommacita. Pumpkin carving and seed baking. A little Halloween fun. A movie night with margaritas. A stroll down along the tide pools. Time with friends and fellowship.

Life is crazy.

And sometimes its crazy good.

greatest compliment

"I feel like you exude this positive energy and love that gives me hope there might actually be a Jesus. And it comes from a place that seems very real. You're just another person like me, but somehow different. I love that. It makes me think I might believe one day."

I wasn't expecting this conversation, but wow.

#glorytoGod

snapshot 100813 0100 PST

Watching some lighthearted, spooktastic toons.
Listening to Kimberly sing Wrecking Ball from the shower.

Unwinding before bed after watching Insidious 2 at the movies tonight. Good flick, but intense. Not exactly a bedtime story.

Prepping myself to get up in the morning and knock out some big assignments for school and attend a CPR recertification class.

Waiting for this Up&Up generic acid reducer to kick-in after eating some really good bad food today.

Overall, a good ending to a good day.

sloppy

"Well, the voices told me to kill them with a machete, but then I thought, 'Nah, that's too sloppy!' So I put the machete back in the shed and started looking for a gun instead."

"Too sloppy."

Yep, he said that.

Talk about graphic.

*From the mouth of a sweet, old, grandpa-looking man...

Post-it to the rescue!

It finally happened yesterday.
And I survived.
I knew it was coming.
In fact, I expected it to happen sooner.

My first bad day at practicum.
It was the perfect storm.

My caseload was a hot mess.

One client was psychotic, one was extremely suicidal, and one was on the brink of an alcoholic relapse while mourning the recent death of his mother.

I had fallen behind on documentation and was feeling pressure from the shift leader to act more as a staff than an intern, fulfilling a slightly different role. Meanwhile, my clinical supervisor had a different set of expectations, wanting me to remain clinically focused and strictly operate within the role of a trainee only.

My clinical supervisor also happened to have a migraine yesterday. I tried to remind myself of that each time I overheard her berating someone...

You'd think a person with a PhD in psychology would be a bit more careful with her words.
The shift leader could've used a little lesson in kindness, too.

Anyway, perfect storm.
There was just a lot going on.

Today I had to go into practicum late due to a school meeting, but the evening was very laid-back. I was able to catch-up on documentation and even squeeze in a 1:1 session with a client. I also took a little time to vent my frustrations to today's shift leader, which seemed to help a lot.

And, like a good little therapist, I practiced what I preach. I implemented a little positive self-talk by reviewing some feedback I've received on my case notes. As a practicum trainee, all my documentation must be submitted to the clinical supervisor for approval before being placed into the clients' charts. My supervisor happens to be known for being a nazi when it comes to documentation, tearing apart every page that crosses her desk. Some of my peers complain of revising notes up to four times before the supervisor agrees to sign them. I, for whatever reason, happen to have a knack for clinical writing, so most of my notes are approved upon first draft. The rest have very few revisions and are always signed upon second submission. So today, while playing catch-up and revising a note that needed some editing, I decided to spend a few seconds celebrating all the "good job!" post-it notes I received this week.

And it made me feel a little bit better about yesterday.
Post-it to the rescue!

done

Those memes...

I see them daily, and they always leave me speechless.

"Like this if you love God and within 2 days He will do you a big favor!"

Um... He already did do us a huge favor.

We call Him Jesus.

Just sayin'...

she hides

Her smile is bright.

You would never guess the pain she hides behind it, enough pain that she would want to end her own life.

She had just been released from the hospital after a suicide attempt. I was shocked when I received the news. I knew she had been struggling, but I never imagined...

I guess you never truly know the extent of what a person is experiencing behind all their smiles. I spoke with my friend at least once a week at school. I shared scripture and spiritual support through Facebook and text. I thought I was present during our conversations, but now I can see there was something I wasn't quite detecting. 

The truth is, hindsight is 20/20 and you can never really know what a person is going through, no matter how hard you try. 

Try. 

That's all we can do. Make a daily effort to be present and aware of one another on a spiritual level. And pray. Always be in prayer for one another.

I'm meeting with her tomorrow, and I know God will be with us.