Wisdom is: Kind

Unfortunately, wisdom comes with a stereotype: grouchy, reclusive, unapproachable, judgmental, mean, etc. That's an ugly list of characteristics, but I'm not the one that came up with it. I spent a little time last weekend talking with some of the kids I work with, asking them to describe what they image a wise person to be like, other than smart. Of course, this is the edited, censored version. Their original answers weren't quite so blog-friendly...

But as I've spent time in the bible researching what it means to be wise, I've found none of these things to be true.

As we've already discussed, wisdom is humble as well as self-controlled. Today, we'll be talking about how wisdom is also accompanied by kindness, contrary to how the kids I work with think. Now, there are a lot of verses that support that wisdom is kind, but for the sake of keeping this post a reasonable length, we'll just stick to a few proverbs.

To begin with, I'm guessing a truly wise man would never be heard saying, "I told you so!" Although that may be our rash, instantaneous response, those four little words all strung together pack quite a punch, crippling egos and making it difficult to seek guidance in the future. When a person hears those words, they're usually too busy recoiling from the blow to actually learn from their mistake. As I've worked with oppositional youth over the past decade, I've destroyed tons of learning moments for kids just by saying these word when they've disregarded my advice and gotten themselves into trouble.

Trust me on this one. But I won't say, "I told you so," if you slip up and say it anyway...

So, if "I told you so!" isn't the wise thing to say when someone messes up, what is? "There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing," (Proverbs 12:18). Having someone come down on you with rash words hurts, and if you've just screwed something up, chances are you're not feeling too hot to begin with. Our instinct is to point out failure, even when our end goal is to help. "By the mouth of a fool comes a rod for his back, but the lips of the wise will preserve them," (Proverbs 14:3). Chances are, they know when they've failed. After all, don't you? A better place to begin in the helping process is with some healing words, usually encouragement or support, taking care of them. The original Hebrew text of Proverbs 14:3 uses the word shamar to describe the wise, which can be translated into "bodyguard," "overseer," and "keeper."

As you build up a person, they'll come to trust you and feel comfortable around you, and you're guidance will mean so much more. This is really where discipleship comes into play. Walking alongside the wise in the context of a relationship, a person can really grow and learn. "Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise..." (Proverbs 13:20). One man's wisdom benefits all, because a truly wise man shares his knowledge.

A wise man heals others and teaches them. Wisdom is Kind.

Wisdom is: Self-Controlled

We've already established that wisdom is humble. So what will we add to the list today? I'm thinking... discipline.

A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back. (Proverbs 29:11 ESV) 

In the original Hebrew text, the word ruach was used in place of "spirit." This word incorporated several meanings, such as motives and thoughts, as well as wind. Now, the wind in a sail sets a ship in motion, like motives to a person. The wind blows as it will, and there's not a whole lot we can do about that... but we can choose to adjust our sails. With discipline, the wise man chooses whether or not to go where the wind blows.

Its not always best to do what we want or to do what feels good. A wise man not only determines the difference between these times, he uses self-control to follow through and do whats right. Simply put, a wise man is in control of his actions.

That was the complicated example. The next two are super simple:

Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. (Proverbs 17:27 ESV)

A wise man is in control of his tongue. Zip. The. Lip. Thats a lot easier for me to say than it is for me to do. (Although, it might not be easy to say at all if my lips were actually zipped...) Not all thoughts need to be shared, not every question should be asked, and some information just should not be passed along.

And last but not least...

A person’s wisdom makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense. (Proverbs 19:11 NET)

Its true; believe it or not, you are in control of your emotions. Yes, even anger. You can feed the feelings or allow them to fade away. It's up to you. (Feel free to revisit the wind analogy from earlier.) I'll save the PYSCH 101 for another post, but know this: we tend to either be completely driven by emotions, or completely shut off from them. Neither one is healthy nor demonstrates self-control. God put them there for a reason, so why not start by taking them to Him?

A wise man is disciplined in his actions, his words, and with his emotions. Wisdom is self-controlled.

Wisdom is: Humble

You can round up any given number of people who've attended a fare share of weddings and, chances are, you'd be able to gather some pretty consistent descriptions of what love is. "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant..." and so on (1 Corinthians 13:4 ESV). But what about wisdom? Wisdom is... what? Well, that's my question. And I'm guessing, like love, the answer is best in list form. So I've decided to spend the next few weeks learning about what wisdom is.

Today's attempt to gain a better biblical understanding of wisdom has led me to one undeniable characteristic: Wisdom is Humble.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction. (Proverbs 1:7 ESV)

Hear instruction and be wise, and do not neglect it. (Proverbs 8:33 ESV)

Sometimes it takes every bit of self-control within me to just bite my tongue and listen to advice. That feeling of despise I get when I'm being given instruction is my (not-so-inner) inner fool showing his ornery, stubborn face.

Fearing The Lord, to know and respect Him, is a good solid start to becoming wise, but then we're hit with a whammy in the second portion of that first verse. "fools despise... instruction." Ouch! I don't know many people that take instruction well, and I know that I certainly don't either!  But  obviously, neglecting it isn't the right thing to do...

So what should I do? I best just take a deep breath and set my ego aside when someone begins to instruct me. I need to really hear what's being said; it might be a nugget of awesomeness! Then again, it may not, but I'll never know without giving it a shot!  

But a wise man isn't humble just because he listens to the people God gathered around him; a wise man is humble because he knows all his understanding comes from the Spirit of God in him. Now, this next verse is just a bit counter-cultural:

But it is the spirit in man, the breath of the Almighty, that makes him understand. It is not the old who are wise, nor the aged who understand what is right. (Job 32:8, 9 ESV)

A lifetime of experience is priceless, but nothing compares to the knowledge gained when God is present in us, and that's something we can't take any credit for. Age and education don't always equivocate wisdom. Knowing its something given to me, not earned and not a characteristic of who I just happen to be, means I really don't have a right to be proud of it. No achievement, no degree, not even growing old will give me boasting rights! 

God is wise, and the more He is in me, the more wisdom I have. It's nothing I've earned or achieved! Now, this last Proverb makes it very clear that wisdom is humble.

Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him. (Proverbs 26:12 ESV)

There's not a whole lot of room for interpretation there! Basically, if you think you're wise... you're not.

Wisdom is accepting of instruction. Wisdom is a result of the breath of the Almighty within us and not of our own doing. Wisdom is an awareness that there's always more to learn, of others far more wise, and of one's own limitedness.

Wisdom is humble.