It finally happened yesterday.
And I survived.
I knew it was coming.
In fact, I expected it to happen sooner.
My first bad day at practicum.
It was the perfect storm.
My caseload was a hot mess.
One client was psychotic, one was extremely suicidal, and one was on the brink of an alcoholic relapse while mourning the recent death of his mother.
I had fallen behind on documentation and was feeling pressure from the shift leader to act more as a staff than an intern, fulfilling a slightly different role. Meanwhile, my clinical supervisor had a different set of expectations, wanting me to remain clinically focused and strictly operate within the role of a trainee only.
My clinical supervisor also happened to have a migraine yesterday. I tried to remind myself of that each time I overheard her berating someone...
You'd think a person with a PhD in psychology would be a bit more careful with her words.
The shift leader could've used a little lesson in kindness, too.
Anyway, perfect storm.
There was just a lot going on.
Today I had to go into practicum late due to a school meeting, but the evening was very laid-back. I was able to catch-up on documentation and even squeeze in a 1:1 session with a client. I also took a little time to vent my frustrations to today's shift leader, which seemed to help a lot.
And, like a good little therapist, I practiced what I preach. I implemented a little positive self-talk by reviewing some feedback I've received on my case notes. As a practicum trainee, all my documentation must be submitted to the clinical supervisor for approval before being placed into the clients' charts. My supervisor happens to be known for being a nazi when it comes to documentation, tearing apart every page that crosses her desk. Some of my peers complain of revising notes up to four times before the supervisor agrees to sign them. I, for whatever reason, happen to have a knack for clinical writing, so most of my notes are approved upon first draft. The rest have very few revisions and are always signed upon second submission. So today, while playing catch-up and revising a note that needed some editing, I decided to spend a few seconds celebrating all the "good job!" post-it notes I received this week.
And it made me feel a little bit better about yesterday.
Post-it to the rescue!